He was a nice enough guy, took me a to a cool little hole-in-the-wall bar and then we went for a walk. He took this opportunity to try and kiss me. SO not what I was hoping for. It was seriously awkward for many reasons:
- I had *just* met him! Slow your engine down, dude!
- That whole first date with a new guy in 13 years. I know how to make conversation with people, but I don't know how to let that lead into dating!
- The whole I'm-still-married thing.
Reason number 3 is a biggie, and was especially present in my head at that moment. Everything felt SO wrong... not because I missed my husband... but just because I honestly don't know anything different. Scared of the unknown and so used to other people being off-limits, I still felt like I was breaking all kinds of rules. Of course, some people still probably think that I'm way out of line by dating before the divorce is final... to who I say: don't knock it until you've lived through it. Whether it serves a distraction (it's original purpose), or it turns into something good (the current hope), I am an adult with a heart that loves to be loved. And I'm just not going to stress over doing this perfectly by the book... letting my heart take the lead and have a little fun in the meantime.
So, needless to say, there was no second date for guy #1. Not my type, not the right guy, not the right time, just not.
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