How'd I Get Here?

Pilot said he'd wait for me to stop seeing other people...
He is so ridiculously attentive - phone calls, facetime while he's away, texts - the whole thing.
He's open and honest and talks about his feelings.
He is respectful of my boundaries - and he even has his own boundaries - which is actually super sexy.
He's romantic and thoughtful and kind.
He's a little bit sarcastic and snarky - but knows how to be sensitive to me.
He flew me to another state - just to spend 16 hours together.
He wants me. A lot.

He's really different that anyone I've ever dated before - especially my ex.
He's a Christian - church-going, every Sunday.
He wants a girlfriend/wife that prays with him and studies the Bible together.

There are SO MANY things I like about him...

Why am I being weird then?
UGH.

I like him.  I REALLY like him.  I like him enough not to be seeing other people, and to be thinking about making plans over a month away with him.  But I'm so flipping nervous.  I was married - it didn't work out. I'm afraid about being committed again... and I'm nervous about how I'm feeling.  I'm nervous about how he's feeling.  He's really in this. REALLY in this.  He's been very clear, in our very short time dating that he is falling hard and fast.  Which I like... but it makes me nervous, especially that I can't reciprocate to the same level yet.

This seems like a lot of crazy babble... but I'm happy.  Just nervous.  I had a great amazing trip to see him.  I can't wait to spend Christmas together.  I wish things were less complicated and moving a tiny bit slower... but I'm trying not to control every. single. thing.

Let it go - see what happens - go with it.  My new motto.

Too Slow, Too Fast

It seems like my constant issue with dating is the pace... I get nervous when the man goes too fast with pushing for a relationship, but I also get really annoyed if they go too slow and I don't get enough attention. Why is it SO hard to just go at a regular pace??

Currently, The Doctor is going at a snail's pace, while The Pilot is sprinting at an uncomfortably quick pace. Can I just average the two?

So, here's the run-down on my many dates this week with The Pilot- he flies corporate jets, and he is actually based out of Ca, making his travel time kind of strange. He's been at home this whole week, not working, and he seems to be trying to stockpile time with me before he leaves for the next two weeks. He has been meeting me for lunch (bringing me food or coffee each time), he came over to my new house and kept me company while I cooked a meal to bring to a friend (I fed him too, don't worry!), and I went to his house last night and made out for a little while ;) He is a nice, sweet, thoughtful guy... but he still seems to be holding on to a lot of bitterness regarding his ex. I can't blame him too much - she did cheat on him and leave him for his best friend, but I really don't want to hear any more about it. I want to ignore our exes and figure out what we have in common - talking about our past just seems silly. He is also reeeaaaallllyyyy forward-focused. He is clearly looking for a girlfriend, and I'm just not there. He's sweet and said he will wait patiently, but I feel kind of bad that we are in such different places. On the other hand, he has many of the qualities I'm looking for, so I'm going to hold on a little longer to see if things calm down. Since he will be away for work for the next couple of weeks, he'll have no choice but to slow it down a little.

I'm still pretty interested in seeing what might happen with The Doctor... I just wish he wasn't moving so slow! He's been clear that he wants to see me again, but hasn't made actual plans yet. The kiss was really good on our last date, and he's so interesting and unlike any other guy I've dated... very intriguing. Plus, I think I like that he's not so easy to get ;) hope something happens there soon!

Short Run-Down

The Doctor: despite seeming interested in another date, he's been MIA for a few days. Busy? Maybe. Not interested anymore? Probably. Oh well!

The Business Guy: after a couple of dates, I'm very much rethinking this. He's super into me (great, right?) but way overwhelming. He's a little too sarcastic and doesn't seem to know when he's crossing a line. I'm backing away now...

Neuro-research Guy: firmly in the "friend zone"... even though he doesn't realize it. I'm trying to kind-of fade out, and avoid an awkward conversation.

Now, you must be thinking that I've been totally striking out... but there has been one that came out of nowhere about a week ago: Pilot #2. (Pilot #1 didn't manage to get a second date).

I started out messaging The Pilot because I thought he sounded just right for me: a devout Christian, father of two, cute, smart... good, right? I hardly ever message guys - I prefer to just wait for them to come to me... but I had a feeling I shouldn't wait, just hoping he'd notice my profile. Well, he wrote me back right away, we started texting, and have been on FOUR dates in a week (five of you count tonight). Our dates haven't been traditional... and we've been moving very slowly - but there might be something about this one. He knows that I've been seeing other people... and just told me that I just need to tell him when I'm done with this stage, and he'll be patiently waiting. He said he also went through dating a lot right after his wife left... and he really seemed to mean it. So, I'm not rushing, but I can see where this might end up... He makes me want to stop dating anyone else :)

More on the dates tomorrow :)